Tuesday, September 15, 2009

I though Apathy was dispellable...

I guess I don't have a druid nearby...

I'm experiencing a hard and sudden burnout from the game. No doubt the weeks of straight raiding, arena, honor-grinding, and dailies have some contribution, but all at once, I feel totally apathetic about everything. And I don't particularly like it.

Yesterday I logged on and off throughout the day to tend to chores in between honor-grinding. It was good honor-grinding too: We won nearly every EotS, AB, and IoC. I should have been happy, but all I recognized was a mental checking off of a task list. More tokens for Great Honor? Check. Next.

I logged on again before raid, but my mind wasn't in it. I listened in Vent to the officers work out plans for HM Faction Champs, but I was more interested in studying the vocab lists for the GRE. No doubt that lack of interest translated into my raiding abilities that night. I wasn't doing poorly, just distractedly. Between Misdirects, Hunter's Marks, Tranq Shots, and my normal rotation, I was far more concerned with how bloody long my GCD was than my threat table during Jaraxxus. So when I died to an Inferal, I was sat. And I didn't care.

I'm a people pleasure by nature, so when officers tell me something to improve my raiding, I work to do it. However, I feel like what they tell me to do is pulling me in different directions, and when I get talked down to for trying to compromise them, I get extremely frustrated. One officer expects more Misdirects. Okay, that's easy enough. I used to do it all the time and only stopped when my competing hunter never did them, so I felt obligated to remain competitive by not "wasting" my GCD every thirty seconds. Another officer wants every DPS to stop moving so much and stop wasting GCDs. ... Well, the first is easy enough to fix - just find a sweet spot, like he suggested. Stop wasting GCDs? Do you want MDs, or not? That's one less Steady Shot out of my normal rotation every three rotations! *sigh*

So, as I worked to compromise these requests while working on HM Beasts, I asked the tanks what direction they will be tanking the mobile worm during phase two.

"Well, it depends on where he spawns," was the answer.

Okay, fine, but you can at least be consistant. If he spawns here, which way will you go? If he spawns over here, which way will you go? I just want to be able to predict which path you are taking so I am not standing there when I set myself up to do the initial MD and never have to move again to pump out the high DPS.

Well, this didn't go over so well... "You are supposed to be moving during this encounter!" "You're a hunter, you can move and DPS" (This from the officer telling me I shouldn't be moving so much.) Since my meaning wasn't getting across, I just told them to drop it and make the bloody pull. We killed it next go, so my point was null regardless, but my frustration was evident. I was already doing what one of the officers was telling us we should be doing - watching where the worms move and set ourselves up accordingly - but I was taking pains to make sure I was in MD range to help the tank get initial threat, be spread out so bile/venom won't spalsh anyone around me, and be in a sweet spot to pump out the DPS required by the fight. I was doing my job and only requested something that should already be standardized so it is one less thing I have to be concerned about in the bloody encounter, and I get called out for it.

Frustration is exhausting, ya know?

Everything they are changing about this game and my class, plus the current state of raiding hunters, is just breaking me. Why am I even specced into ArPen DPS if I will be on icicles, snobalds, sparks, flash freezes, etc? Maybe I should just go into a mana-efficent, high burst spec since there will be no JoW on my target. Stack haste to get as many steady shots in between all my other instants. Do everything the theorycrafters tell us we shouldn't do to get high numbers, because my DPS time on the boss itself will be minimal. Hell, I'll even waste three points into Hawk Eye again and enjoy the 41 yard range that I miss so from BC. Then reaching those adds on Jaraxxus won't be a problem! Everything I want and know about my class is clashing with everything I'm called on to do, and I'm having a hell of a time trying to find that sweet spot.

I'm already resigned myself to never see the Cataclysm that will change everything about the game, but maybe I won't see Icecrown either. That was my last hold out - just see Arthas, but the apathy is touching that, too. I'm usually thrilled when we down a new encounter, but I didn't even feel a jump of excitement with Jarraxus died. Oh, look, the crossbow. Meh, I'll bid, but I don't expect to get it. (I didn't, and I don't care.) I'm not even bored, really. I have a ton to do in the game, so I'll always be busy. I'm just honestly losing interest. I miss the fact I used to be so adamant about my spec and my class and dislike how accepting I am that everything I enjoyed about this game is falling apart. I want to believe that the last four years of playing wasn't wasted, and the fear that it was does nothing to help my post-college depression...

Maybe I just need a break, or something...

/endramble

11 comments:

Anonymous said...

Usually this kicks in, when RL peeks it's wonderful head into your gaming time. Something you enjoy to escape/take a break from RL, starts to impact your 'fun' this usually sets in. Preforming bad in raids, starting to question officers/raid leaders/gm's etc.. It's better to take a break from the game, and just pick it up when RL is not impacting the game.

Apathy is dispelled by - Paladins, Priests.

-the 5k paying priest-

Criven said...

If you're depressed, apathy about things you are usually passionate about about is often a part of the same package I'm afraid.

Take a break for a few weeks and you'll likely find you have drive for it again when you come back.

As for a waste of time, did you enjoy playing WoW for the last 4 years? If so, it's not a waste, it's just leisure.

Negathle said...

@ Anon

And you said you stopped reading...

Well, get dispelling!

And don't align performing poorly in raid with questioning the officers. The former is inexcusable and the latter should be encouraged.

Pizz said...

I read, i even have my own blog now! I guess I too can be a pre-teen girl/gay guy with a diary!

Streamer said...

Maybe it's mixed words and messages. A misdirect is not a wasted GCD. It won us that fight btw peopel stopped dying from initial aggro on adds. A wasted GCD is basically when a person runs 40yds to avoid an aoe effect of 5 yards. Look a pizz when side steps fires. While mages blink or run accros the room.

Also like I said your question was valid but what people want is not everything to be scripted there has to be an element of adaptivity or we will never kill any boss before another guild kills it we will have to wait for a tank spot update?

windpaw said...

Yeah - I'd take a break. The problem with being a people pleaser is that you at some point start knowing as much (or more) than the people you're seeking to please. With time - that starts to build up some angst - you get enough and the apathy monster sets in. Or the rage monster - really depends on the person. I can go either way.

Best bet is to bench yourself for a few days. You can still play if you want - but avoid the high performance parts of the game that demand person to person time.

I enjoy people in real world space - but the whole virtual thing creates a ton more frustration than it ought to.

The rest of it - the armor penetration nerf, the game changes, etc. That's just icing on the cake - not the cake itself.

Recharge some - the other crap will be less important.

Negathle said...

@ Streamer

It all depends on the situation in which "waste" is used. In a discussion about pure DPS, a "wasted" GCD would be one that does not deal damage. So Misdirections, Hunter's Mark, Tranqshot, Frost Trap, even Readiness can be construed as "wasted" since they do not do direct damage. Prune out the damage modifier like Hunter's Mark and Readiness, then you have the raid support spells that are considered "wasteful" when your only goal is to pump out the numbers.

When the situation and encounter dictates otherwise, the abilities are not wasteful, but rather necessary for the encounter. A Misdirect when the tank has 30k threat above the highest DPS is a waste, whereas chaining MDs on Vezax is not.

As for adaptability, there is a difference between the Moonwells on Hodir and direction of kiting a mob when it appears in one quadrant vs another. The latter can be standardized and instantly predictable, whereas the former is based on some complicated formulas that run the encounter. In an area full of players trying to spread out, removing any uncertain variable provides the player with more freedom to adapt, even if it is simply recognizing the pattern in which the mob will be moved.

Eillarius said...

I play a hunter because I enjoy playing a hunter. However, for the exact reasons you have laid out, I feel like its becoming a chore.

I took over a month off and came back right after the last patch.

I shoulda stayed away.

Rilgon Arcsinh said...

"You're a hunter, you can move and DPS"

ahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

. said...

I'm right there with you Neg, I've been low profile for over a month because I just can't find a care in me. I log in and it's just boreing.. I'm only loging in here and there to check my oracle eggs (those ungrateful fucks still have yet to give me my GPD mount). And to sell off junk. I'm more excited about Cata than Ice Crown atm...

Shagrat said...

Rilgon-Oh wow, I must have missed that little gem. If one of our RLs said that to me, I'd have to drop raid because I would be laughing too hard to concentrate.

I've been thinking about speccing into Hawkeye myself, but I can't decide on where to pull the points from in my MM spec, I'm thinking Imp. Steady Shot would be the place I'd pull them from but I'm raiding BM. I don't have points anywhere to pull, except maybe improved tracking...