Thursday, April 24, 2008

Cyber Bullying

I hate it.

I don't know if it's because I'm a female encroaching on the male dominated field of video gaming, or if I'm just an easy target, but no matter what guild I've been in for the last three years, I've been the target of these assholes.

I've always gotten along better with guys than I do my own sex. Different sorts of drama I suppose. I've been "one of the guys" ever since junior high. When I did my time at Wally World (first job, don't judge me -_-), I would hang out with the guys in electronics before anyone else. It's just who I am, and for the most part, gaming has never been an issue.

The guild I am in has a bully as an officer. He's a bastard, asshole, etc. and he has targeted me. I don't fuck up any more than any other person, I don't say stupid crap any more often than anyone else, I'm just there, in Officer Chat as a Loot Council member, asking questions and giving my opinions.

This is what happened this evening: I've always wondered what healers where healing my pet, particularly on boss fights. It was especially troublesome because tonight we only had five and two half healers on Naj'entus, so when I saw my pet get heals, and I didn't, I kinda got suspicious (I also died twice that fight - health pots, healthstones, and bandage all on cooldown - fun, fun). So after a surprisingly clean Supremus kill, we start pulling the room before Shade of Akama, and I ask OChat "Is there a healer assigned to pets, or is it just see-a-pet-heal-a-pet?" I see how it can be construed as "hey, can we get pet heals" type of question, but obviously that's not what I had intended. That didn't stop the bully from telling me that hunters are in charge of pet heals, it's called mend pet, etc. etc.. So I responded that I didn't care if pets die, I was concerned that healers are wasting mana on it. The reply: It's not your concern.

Definitely a milder case of bullying, he's treated me far worse, but tonight was especially annoying because all I wanted was a simply answer to find out what was going on. Our healing officer is also a member of Loot Council, so I ended up requesting an answer in that channel. Turns out it was most likely a Circle of Healing I saw, though it doesn't address who heals pets during trash, but I was satisfied. And that's all it took.

We were discussing in my sociology class about how humans are social creatures -even more so today what with communications being constant. People can't stand to be anywhere without their cell phones or 24 hour AIM. But, as I brought up in discussion, this great wave of instant communication also depersonalizes people. You can start up a conversation with a random stranger at the bus stop or in a chat room, but which one are you more likely to be rude to? The lack of a face, emotional response, to what we say online deprives us of the concept that the person on the other end of the tell is human.

It's sad how much this one person affects my game play. I try to not let it affect me, but it does. I don't talk as much as I would like to, joke around or tease others, just because I don't want to have a interaction with him. It really detracts from the pleasure of the game, and I hate it.


Rilgon Arcsinh said...

Bring this up with your guild leader and give him an ultimatum: him or me. You obviously don't enjoy the situation (I can tell in your writing), so change it.

And if your guild leader doesn't have the spine to, leave. Is progression worth being miserable?

Neggles said...

Then half the guild would leave, I'm afraid. He's an established officer, I'm just a transfer in that after a time was neutral enough to become a Loot Council member. He bullies and abuses everyone - it's just accepted as a fact of life.

My boyfriend and another friend transfered to this guild with the intention of never moving again. Sadly, it's not as easy as just leaving. I wish it was, but I can't uproot two others because of my problems.

He is yelled at by my friend who is an officer though, and everyone else just tells me to ignore him. And for the most part I do; I just want to be the bigger person. Sigh... Nice guys always finish last :(.