I though Apathy was dispellable...

I guess I don't have a druid nearby...

I'm experiencing a hard and sudden burnout from the game. No doubt the weeks of straight raiding, arena, honor-grinding, and dailies have some contribution, but all at once, I feel totally apathetic about everything. And I don't particularly like it.

Yesterday I logged on and off throughout the day to tend to chores in between honor-grinding. It was good honor-grinding too: We won nearly every EotS, AB, and IoC. I should have been happy, but all I recognized was a mental checking off of a task list. More tokens for Great Honor? Check. Next.

I logged on again before raid, but my mind wasn't in it. I listened in Vent to the officers work out plans for HM Faction Champs, but I was more interested in studying the vocab lists for the GRE. No doubt that lack of interest translated into my raiding abilities that night. I wasn't doing poorly, just distractedly. Between Misdirects, Hunter's Marks, Tranq Shots, and my normal rotation, I was far more concerned with how bloody long my GCD was than my threat table during Jaraxxus. So when I died to an Inferal, I was sat. And I didn't care.

I'm a people pleasure by nature, so when officers tell me something to improve my raiding, I work to do it. However, I feel like what they tell me to do is pulling me in different directions, and when I get talked down to for trying to compromise them, I get extremely frustrated. One officer expects more Misdirects. Okay, that's easy enough. I used to do it all the time and only stopped when my competing hunter never did them, so I felt obligated to remain competitive by not "wasting" my GCD every thirty seconds. Another officer wants every DPS to stop moving so much and stop wasting GCDs. ... Well, the first is easy enough to fix - just find a sweet spot, like he suggested. Stop wasting GCDs? Do you want MDs, or not? That's one less Steady Shot out of my normal rotation every three rotations! *sigh*

So, as I worked to compromise these requests while working on HM Beasts, I asked the tanks what direction they will be tanking the mobile worm during phase two.

"Well, it depends on where he spawns," was the answer.

Okay, fine, but you can at least be consistant. If he spawns here, which way will you go? If he spawns over here, which way will you go? I just want to be able to predict which path you are taking so I am not standing there when I set myself up to do the initial MD and never have to move again to pump out the high DPS.

Well, this didn't go over so well... "You are supposed to be moving during this encounter!" "You're a hunter, you can move and DPS" (This from the officer telling me I shouldn't be moving so much.) Since my meaning wasn't getting across, I just told them to drop it and make the bloody pull. We killed it next go, so my point was null regardless, but my frustration was evident. I was already doing what one of the officers was telling us we should be doing - watching where the worms move and set ourselves up accordingly - but I was taking pains to make sure I was in MD range to help the tank get initial threat, be spread out so bile/venom won't spalsh anyone around me, and be in a sweet spot to pump out the DPS required by the fight. I was doing my job and only requested something that should already be standardized so it is one less thing I have to be concerned about in the bloody encounter, and I get called out for it.

Frustration is exhausting, ya know?

Everything they are changing about this game and my class, plus the current state of raiding hunters, is just breaking me. Why am I even specced into ArPen DPS if I will be on icicles, snobalds, sparks, flash freezes, etc? Maybe I should just go into a mana-efficent, high burst spec since there will be no JoW on my target. Stack haste to get as many steady shots in between all my other instants. Do everything the theorycrafters tell us we shouldn't do to get high numbers, because my DPS time on the boss itself will be minimal. Hell, I'll even waste three points into Hawk Eye again and enjoy the 41 yard range that I miss so from BC. Then reaching those adds on Jaraxxus won't be a problem! Everything I want and know about my class is clashing with everything I'm called on to do, and I'm having a hell of a time trying to find that sweet spot.

I'm already resigned myself to never see the Cataclysm that will change everything about the game, but maybe I won't see Icecrown either. That was my last hold out - just see Arthas, but the apathy is touching that, too. I'm usually thrilled when we down a new encounter, but I didn't even feel a jump of excitement with Jarraxus died. Oh, look, the crossbow. Meh, I'll bid, but I don't expect to get it. (I didn't, and I don't care.) I'm not even bored, really. I have a ton to do in the game, so I'll always be busy. I'm just honestly losing interest. I miss the fact I used to be so adamant about my spec and my class and dislike how accepting I am that everything I enjoyed about this game is falling apart. I want to believe that the last four years of playing wasn't wasted, and the fear that it was does nothing to help my post-college depression...

Maybe I just need a break, or something...

/endramble